


plagued dreams

by illyrianbats



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Nessian - Freeform, One-Shot, innercircleasnessianfangirls!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 13:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17509112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illyrianbats/pseuds/illyrianbats
Summary: Nesta and Cassian's complicated relationship take a turn.





	plagued dreams

**Author's Note:**

> hey bats! hope you like it :) sorry if it's a bit short!

_ word count: 2.6k _

Cassian and I were in a  _ complicated  _ relationship. We’re adults who have needs and wants that needed to be satisfied. 

I heard a knocking pattern on my door. Two quick knocks, a pause, then another two. 

“Come in.” I stood from my bed and walked towards the winged Illyrian.

Cassian’s hazel eyes were glazed with lust. His hair was in a perfect bun. Heat pooled at the pit of my stomach as I thought of the times I tugged on his hair while he was between my thighs. A smirk was plastered on his face as a small smile bloomed into mine. His eyes traced my soft curves, my body clad in a thin nightgown that left nothing much to the imagination.

With no words exchanged, our lips connected. My fingers were buried deep in his hair, tugging at his dark strands. Tongues clashed and hands wandered. As we made our way to the bed, clothes were thrown to the floor, leaving us bare against each other.

Screams of pleasure echoed between the walls of my townhouse. Hours passed by as we hit our climaxes several times, leaving us heaving next to each other.

* * *

 

“You never disappoint, sweetheart,” Cassian whispered softly, his voice raspy from groaning.

“Zip it, you bat,” I replied, trying to fight the grin forming on my lips.

Cassian turned in bed and I saw a flash of red. 

“Cass, show me your chest.”

“I knew it. You can never get enough of me, can you?” He teased me as he turned his chest towards me, muscles rippling in movement.

“Shit, I’m sorry, Cass. I haven’t trimmed my nails yet and I must’ve scratched your chest earlier when we were…” I trailed off, my eyes wide and staring into the red marks against the black tattoos and the taut muscles. I brought my fingers up against his chest and traced pathways from mark to mark, my brows meeting at how painful this must be.

“Don’t worry, Nes. I find it incredibly sexy that you marked me.” He said softly as he tucked a strand behind my pointed ears. My palm flattened on his chest as my breath hitched but not from exhausted or pleasure. My breath hitched to the mere closeness of Cassian and the flutter of my heart.

I let out a sigh and removed my hand from his chest, pulling the sheets over my naked body.

“You should get dressed. We don’t want to risk anyone noticing you slipping out.” I said coldly, my face turning stern.

It pained me to push away the feelings that I had but it was for him. I don’t deserve him. He deserves someone who isn’t scarred, who has a matching grin to his bright smile. 

Cassian’s expression turned wistful and nodded. Wordlessly, he begrudgingly changed back into his clothes and slipped out of my townhouse without a word.

As he left, I put on my nightgown back on and placed my head against my pillow. A tear slipped down into it. I closed my eyes and forced myself to face my nightmares once more.

* * *

 

After several more months in this pattern, I’ve decided to stop. It couldn’t be healthy. I needed to put an end to this once and for all.

I knocked on his door, telling myself to keep the purpose of this visit once more and to not get distracted. But when he opened the door, he was baring his glorious chest and that gods damned trail of hair that disappeared behind his pants. All rational thoughts flew out of my mind. 

My mouth met his and my legs wrapped around him.  _ I love him. Gods, I love him too damn much.  _ Clothes were discarded on the floor and he took me to his bedroom. He laid me gently on his bed, his mouth drifting to my jaw and pressing hot, wet kisses. My back arched as my body craved his touch. Sensations sending me into near madness. Moans left my mouth and my name left his. 

As he pulled out and laid beside me.  _ End it. _

“This is the last time, Cass.” I whispered, trying not to let my voice waver. 

“You said that last time, and last week, and at least a hundred times before that.” Cassian rolled his eyes in reply with utter disbelief. I let out a breath that I didn’t realise I’ve been holding.

“And now, I’m being serious.”

“What? Why? Did someone find out? Is that w–“

“ _ I _ decided to stop it. Not because someone found out or anything. I was just thinking that this is me being irrational and I need to stop this crazy arrangement.” Cassian stood up, baring his glory.

“Put some goddamn pants on, Cassian.” He huffed with indignation but still complied.

“This is ridiculous, Nes, and you know it. I can see it in your eyes.” His hazel eyes were fiery with anger yet soft to the core. I nearly got lost in them once more but I snapped out of it fast.  _ This is exactly why it needs to stop _ .  _ I need to get out before I fall back into the bed with him _ . I grabbed my clothes and quickly put them on. 

“Stop it. Look, this arrangement was stupid and is still is. I’m putting an end to it.” His winged drooped with sadness but his face was filled with disappointment and shock. I sighed and shook my head. With my hands on the knob, I slipped out of his townhouse one last time.

I arrived into my own townhouse and I quickly slipped into my nightgown. I drifted into sleep.

* * *

 

_ A pool of water surrounded me, dragging me into its lowest depths. I gasped for air, flailing my arms against the will of the water. The more I try to swim, the more it pulls me into it. I succumb to it’s will and let it carry me, let it drown me. _

_ The deeper I go, the darker the water was. The light from the surface glimmered down and a flash of an image of a body was before me. I reach out with my arms. _

_ I let out a scream. Bodies of fallen soldiers from the war with Hybern surrounded me. I turn and flail. Shredded flesh floated around the murky waters. A fallen soldier was beside me. Long hair, tattooed Illyrian.  _ Cassian _. His wings were shredded. He was beheaded. His head a few yards away from his body. _

_ I let out a scream. _

I woke up in a flash. Sweat covered my body. My chest was rising and falling rapidly. My mind was still plagued by the nightmares that haunted my dreams.

For the next week or so, I didn’t get much sleep. I couldn’t escape the nightmares from the war and from the damned Cauldron. The bags under my eyes grew as I spent my nights staring at the wall and leaving for training an hour or so earlier.

Although I wish I could stop training with Cassian, I still did sometimes. I knew somewhere that he noticed the toll on my body and the difference in my movements. Sometimes, I could be the fiercest warrior the world has ever seen, but sometimes I didn’t have much energy that my swings and kicks didn’t have any effect.

I grunted as I tried to pour every ounce of my strength left into a punch that he just easily caught my hand.

“What’s wrong?” Concern flooded his eyes, his free hand wiping sweat away from his forehead. His hazel eyes shone against the harsh sun. I avoided his gaze and stared at the sky behind him.

“Nothing, Cassian.” I retorted back. After the whole cutting off the arrangement between us, he wasn’t as cocky as he was with me. He was distant. Gone was the warmth of that overbearing and loving Illyrian.

He kept his gaze trained on my face and I rolled my eyes and forced my stormy eyes on his.

“Is the Commander getting too tired?” I taunted him. He shot me a confused but fierce glance. He threw my hand down and we sparred more.

Unsurprisingly, he won. I barely had enough energy to stand, let alone to spar with the General Commander, no less. Trying to mask my exhaustion, I stood up and left training early.

* * *

 

I kept myself locked in my house until night came. Eating some noodle packets if need be. I stayed up again to avoid the nightmares, not even staying in the bedroom. I finished reading an entire book series in an attempt to keep myself distracted. My book dropped to the floor and my eyes drooped. 

When my eyes finally shut, I found myself getting pulled back into the water. Gasping and thrashing in my sleep, I heard a door open and someone calling out my name.

“Nesta!”

I shot up, shaking. The chills of my dreams still haunting me. A large hand cradled me against a hard chest. Sobs left my mouth and I inhaled his scent.  _ Cassian _ .

“Why are you here?” I asked in between sobs, my face still buried in his chest.

“I heard your thrashing.”

A silence enveloped them. 

I inhaled more of his scent. The light smell of coffee with a hint of mint. His scent relaxed me, it kept my fears and darkness at bay. Then, it dawned on me. All those months of sex with  Cassian wasn’t just for our  _ needs _ , it was because he helped me escape my nightmares.

His arms tightened around me. My hands turned into fists, balling his shirt in my hands. My tears soaked his shirt as he cradled me.

“It’s okay, Nes. I’m here. You’re safe now. You’re alive,” he whispered softly into my ear.

I pulled away but he kept his arms around me. I took a deep breathe, lips still trembling in fear. 

“I was drowning, Cass. I was sinking and all the dead soldiers from the war are with me, surrounding me.”

He brushed away the strands on my face, kissing my forehead gently. My eyes closed briefly at the sensation of his lips brushing against my skin.

“The war?”

“Yes and that wasn’t the worst part. I always  _ always  _ see you. Your head ripped off, wings shredded. Your entire body covered in blood.”

“Hey, hey. I’m here. Alive and well. Wings all better and head intact. And blood definitely not covering my gorgeous body.” He gave me a small smile and I let out a tiny laugh.

After a few more minutes of Cassian soothing me from my nightmares, he led me into my bedroom, even tucked me in.

“Stay.”

“Are you sure?” His eyes were reluctant. 

“Please.”

“Anything for you, sweetheart. Although, no wandering hands tonight, okay?” He winked at me, then I smacked his chest. A smile grew on my face.  _ Ugh, this man. _

A few more nights continued on until the nightmares were soon gone. It was either I go to his place or he goes to mine. We alternated days. Tonight, I was supposed to go to his. 

As I lay there, curled up against him, I smiled. He was making me so happy. I turned in bed, his grip loosening. His hazel eyes looked at mine in curiosity. I placed my hand on his face and stroked his cheek with my thumb. He leaned into my touch, kissing my hand.

_ What are we? _ A question popped into my mind that has left me confused but I decided to pushed it away.

I leaned forward and brush my lips against his.

“Thank you, Cass.” He smiled against my lips.

* * *

The sunlight was bright as day and a realisation dawned on me that we missed training. I heard muffled voices around me and I burrowed my face deeper into Cassian’s chest.

_ Wait. Voices?! _

I breathed in Cassian’s scent and sleep’s fog left me. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I looked up to see a grinning Azriel in Cassian’s room.  _ What in the– _

“Morning, Emissary.” Azriel gave me a knowing smile that said a thousand words.

“What the hell? Why are you in here?” Cassian’s grip was still on my waist, which tightened when he realised that I tensed and was ready to jump on Azriel and kill him for ruining my morning so early.

“I was gonna check up on Cassian cause he didn’t attend training. But I guess he still got his  _ exercise _ .” I turned, reached for something and chucked it at him. A shoe went flying towards Azriel’s head.

Suddenly, Rhys and Feyre popped up.  _ How the fu– _

“Why are you two here?”

“Finally, Cass! You did it!” A shoe hit Rhys’ head too. Feyre looked very proud. And amused.

“Get. Out.” I growled, sending them a glare that could kill armies. 

I buried my face in Cassian’s chest, which rumbled with a chuckle. I slapped it with my hand and the rumble got worse. A red tint creeped up my cheeks.

Ever since that morning, everyone did everything in their power to keep Cassian and I together. And I do mean  _ everything _ .

Mor started it, really. She called Cassian when I walked towards her. Then winnowed after he arrived. Elain was next. She loves making plans with me and then giving Cassian flowers. And she never  _ ever _ shows up. And Cassian is left looking like an idiot with flowers.

Azriel actually tried a different approach and handed me a bunch of baby Cassian photos.  _ Maybe he thought that I would be in awe because of how adorable Cassian was and his tiny wings and his cute little smirk?  _

Rhys and Feyre, our amazing High Lord and High Lady, decided to tell us that training would be held in the middle of the woods today. It was a set-up. For a picnic date.

I, for one, has had it. I cannot take anymore of their meddling. 

Cassian and I were in the library when the question that I could no longer stand to ignore popped up in my head once more, disrupting my reading.

“What are we?” Cassian looked very confused with my question, his brows were furrowed as he put his book down.

“Well, you’re fae and I’m Illyrian…?” I nearly chucked a book at his answer but I decided to hold my fire.

“I mean what’s this between us, Cassian?”

“What do you mean between us?” I glared at him and raised an eyebrow, stnading up in frustration. 

He walked towards me with a smile, not his boyish grins or his teasing smirks. It was a soft smile that made my toes curl. His finger tucked strands of hair behind my pointed ear. 

“I love you, Nesta Archeron,” he whispered. I could  _ hear _ the love in his voice.

For a few moments, I stood completely still, my mouth slightly agape. Instinct kicked in and  I grabbed his face and kissed him softly, savour the feeling of his chapped lips against my soft ones. We both smiled and pulled away from the kiss. I gaze into his hazel eyes and he gazed into my stormy blues.

“I love you too, bat.”

We leaned in for another kiss but we abruptly stopped when we heard muffled squeals and voices behind the library door.  _ Those little– _

Cassian and I shared a knowing glance and silently picked up a book each. With a shared glance, we each threw a book at the door afterwards.

“Oh god!”

“Cauldron!”

“Fuck!”

“You idiots, we have amazing hearing too.” I said and leaned in to meet Cassian’s lips.

“Sorry, Nes.”


End file.
